Three
by KirinReiShido
Summary: Hmm...I can't explain this story, sorry. It's got sexual situations, bad words, humor, and crap. There could be a better name for it, but I can't think of any right now. Please R&R and tell me what you think!!! PLEASE!
1. The Ultimatum

Author's Note: This story has nothing to do with GW:E, AT ALL, except maybe the characters. This is a story all on its own, not to mention that, I, personally, don't like Yaoi-Fics, but my friends, Yume and Shin do. Zero, Poa, and Ayako, I'm not so sure. Unlike my other stories, it doesn't include the entire cast and my own characters (like the ones stated above), actually, it only revolves around three 'cause I'm evil and demented and I like my main character. ^_^ 

As for the other characters, there will be cameo appearances and possible scenes (no sex hopefully-I take back this last statement, after writing, there are sex scenes) with them. I'm trying to limit this story to a small novel (as all my friends know, that is IMPOSSIBLE!!) and bear with me on my grammar mistakes and spelling errors. God knows that going to College has made me much more stupider (or however you say it.) 

OH, and none of the delicious GW characters belong to me, all others are mine and are personified by my friends and myself (though I guess you can tell which character I am...). So, thank you for taking the time to read this and don't take any of the gay/lesbian/Relena(if any)-bashing or name calling personal, it's just a fic and I'm pretty compassionate towards people's preferences. Besides, I have a gay friend and I love him! =)

And please, don't sue me, for some odd reason my Legolas bookmark has festered into an Orc bookmark and now I have million little fucking Orcs eating the children around my complex. Hmm, maybe that's a good thing...

Key:

~~~~~~~ breaks

======= computer entry

*********** flashback (there's only one)

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Kirin Shido stood from her desk, knocking the flimsy wooden chair onto the floor. She turned away from the desk, rummaging through her closet and drawers. She took a full bag of clothes, folded up her laptop and stormed out of the room.

Heero and Duo had heard the commotion and stopped whatever action that would have proceeded. Heero was the first to see Kirin's upset expression and arose to meet her angry gaze.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm leaving you, Heero." Kirin said calmly. She shook her head. "I can't take this anymore."

"Good riddance." said the American. "Ever since you came along, Heero's been confused like a puppy. Now, at least he'll have a peace of mind with me."

Kirin's gold eyes flared. She spun on her heel, hair flying and nails outstretched into claws. "You little fuck-nut. You're the reason why he's screwing you!"

Duo jumped up, defensive. "That's right, bitch! I'm the best thing that has ever happened to him!"

"The only good thing that's happened to him is me! At least he can look at my face when we're screwing each other! I don't choke him with a goddamn braid every time he fucks from behind!" Kirin retorted.

Heero put a hand to his forehead. It was one of those pointless arguments that went into a constant circle. He had no way of stopping it unless someone from their little group of friends walked in and distracted his lovers. Thank-God they didn't have a threesome. Oh it was considered a threesome, but technically, it wasn't. A threesome is basically when they all have sex at one time. It was more Heero's decision who to sleep with at night. And a hard to decision at that. "Duo, Kirin-"

Duo and Kirin were now grappling on the floor, each trying to pull the other's hair. Kirin rolled on top of Duo, banging his head against the hardwood floor. Duo grabbed at Kirin's throat, trying to either strangle her or pull her away.

Heero allowed himself to watch only for a moment before pulling his lover's apart. "That's enough, both of you."

Duo's face was red and mouth opened in a big O, sucking in large amounts of air. Kirin, on the other hand, was perfectly calm and not even the least bit phased. "She's right, Heero. We can't keep going on like this."

Heero looked at Duo's solemn face. That cute heart-shaped face, those cobalt blue eyes that he lost himself in. Those pouting lips that drove him wild. He turned away from Duo's face and lips for a moment, looking into Kirin's golden hues. Her silver hair fell effortlessly over her shoulders, resting against her breasts. Her mouth was partially opened, full and luscious and soft, ready to kiss at a moment's notice. How could he ever compare one to the other? He was in love with both of them and even admitted to himself that Duo was the perfect man for him and Kirin was the perfect woman. Duo was his opposite, Kirin was exactly like him if not a little more different. "What do you propose we do?"

Kirin still gripped the bag in her hand. "Heero-dear, you have to choose between us. I'm sorry to do this to you, but both Duo and I are very possessive of you and want you to ourselves. It was fine for a few months, but that's all we can stand."

Duo stood up, dusting himself off. "I hate to say it, but I do agree with her. I propose, since I was with you first, that she leave."

Kirin's eyes bulged out of their sockets. "What? You're going to use some seniority rule on this? Are you going to let him do that, Heero?" She turned to her lover with pleading, gold eyes. "That is not fair."

"Who's to say that life is fair?" asked Duo. He put his arms around Heero's waist. "What are you waiting for, Shido? Go on and leave already."

"She is not leaving." Heero stated. He noticed the way Duo's eyes turned a darker shade of blue while Kirin's eyes lit up and her arms slipped around his neck. "We have to talk about this first. I love the both of you and I can't go a day without either one."

Kirin and Duo both stepped away from Heero. Kirin looked at Duo then at Heero. "Heero, I have an idea. But before I tell you, you have to agree to it first."

Heero had known Kirin for over a year and a half. They were lovers for half that time. Didn't she know how he thought? "I have to agree to terms I know nothing about?"

"I'm just going to say it once. If you like it, we'll do it, if not, someone better think of another plan." Kirin crossed her arms and tapped her foot. This was one of Heero's more tougher decisions. When Kirin tapped her foot, it was like a bomb ticking.

"I'd like to hear the terms first." said Heero. Before Kirin could respond, Heero shook his head. "Or I walk out."

Both Kirin and Duo's jaws drop. Duo shook his head vigorously. "No, no!" He turned to Kirin. "Tell him the damn terms, Shido!"

"Fine!" Kirin took in a deep breath and looked at Duo before speaking. "There might be a way for you to decide whom you want to be with." When neither man answered, she continued. "For one day, Duo and I will be off limits to you. The moment- the very second-you touch either Duo or myself, you have made the final, deciding factor."

Duo scratched his head. "So if he so much as touches me-"

"I mean sex." Kirin said, sighing. "I was trying to keep this mature and clean, but being an idiot, I guess that's beyond your grasp. If Heero has sex with you or me, that means he's made his decision."

Duo scoffed. "We're talking about the Perfect Soldier here, Kirin. He can go a month without sex."

"How about if we were naked?" Kirin remembered a week when Duo had gone to space because Shin, Kirin's friend, had a thing for Duo and wanted to spend some time with him. During that week alone with Heero, Kirin had been naked 24/7 and each time she crossed Heero's path, he'd pull her to the floor, wall, furniture, or room of the apartment and fuck her stupid.

Duo's eyebrow rose. "Now that will be interesting." He waited a moment. "Both of us are naked?"

Kirin shook her head softly. "Yes, Duo. We are naked." She looked at Heero for some comprehension. "And to make it a little more interesting...if you choose me, Duo will have to move in with Shin."

"Hey! I think Shin's a hot chick and all, but I'm already taken!" Duo protested.

"Not after this little deal, Duo." She noticed Heero's unvoiced question. "And if you choose Duo...I'll..." a list of punishments went through her mind. For one, she knew Heero hated it when any man-or woman, went near her (and Duo), breathed, or even sneezed on either one. But what man-or woman, was so disgusting that would make Heero go into self-destruct mode? A smile spread on Kirin's lips. "I'll sleep with Milliardo."

Heero's temper shot through the roof. His Kirin was going to sleep with that chauvinistic, elegant, mask-wearing queer? Even if Milliardo was the last gay man on earth, he'd never choose Milliardo! Never ever! The thought of Kirin even kissing that man made Heero's blood boil. They were mortal enemies, now and forever. They may have settled some scores, but after the Mariemaia incident, there had been only one or two battles in which were performed from old Aries suits. He wasn't going to forgive Milliardo for practically dumping Relena into his care. And now, in a decision that would effect them all, Milliardo was going to be a part of it? "Not Milliardo."

"I think he's a good choice." said Kirin. "After all, he's always wanted what was yours. First he wanted you glory and your Gundam, what's more if he has your girl? Besides, if you do choose Duo, what difference would it make? You wanted him which means you don't care enough about me and that would allow me to go with any man I want."

"Why him?" Heero asked through clenched teeth.

"In a sense, Heero..." She looked directly into Heero's eyes. "He reminds me a lot like you. Of course, minus the dark hair and that 'gun' of yours, I'd still prefer you."

That was somewhat reassuring. But he had one day to make a decision. Wait- he didn't say he'd accept the deal. "I have to think about it."

"There's no thinking about it, Heero. You accept the terms or not. Or, we can all sit here and think of another way."

"Heads or tails?" Duo held up a coin. "This is fair. Three out of five, Kirin?"

At that moment, both Kirin and Heero looked at Duo like he was already the odd man out. She sighed and lifted her bag. "Or you can let me walk out of here. Out of your life and into Milliardo's."

Duo readily pranced towards the door. "Door's open. Don't let it hit you on the ass on your way out."

Heero snapped his head towards Duo. "She is not leaving. She's staying here with us."

"The terms, Heero." Kirin repeated. "Do you accept them or do you want to find another way?"

Love wasn't his strong point. He loved Duo and the way the braided American's hands were so strong and powerful. And Kirin, the way her body formed to fit his. How the hell was he suppose to answer? "A day?"

"One day." Kirin repeated. "Touch- have sex with either one of us, and you've made your decision."

"But you're both naked."

Kirin moved towards Heero and to add emphasis, slid her hands down Heero's spandex shorts. She fondled him as she spoke, "It's not as 'hard' as it looks, Heero. I'm sure the 'Perfect Soldier' can find other ways of remaining 'at ease.'"

Heero's body jerked just as Kirin's hand left him. He floundered for a moment then looked at Kirin who's devilish smile turned innocent. "That's not fair."

"All's fair in love and war, Heero." Kirin pushed Heero against the wall and kissed him. She let her tongue linger in his mouth a moment before bringing her mouth onto his neck. "Just remember who taught you that."

"Get off him, slut!" Duo pulled Kirin away from his lover and gave Heero his version of the same kiss. " 'You're mine, Duo. Always and Forever.' You always said that to me. Don't let that fifty-cent whore get the better of you!"

"Uh, listen, God of the Idiots, he says that to me, too." Kirin replied, getting up from the floor. "Just because you're a man, doesn't mean he treats me any differently."

Duo narrowed his eyes at Kirin. "Then I suppose you pee upright, too, Shido?"

"Ha, ha. At least I don't confuse a penis with pencil tip. Oops! Your penis is a pencil tip!"

"Enough." Heero rubbed at his temples. "I'll agree to the terms."

"Ninmu Kanryou?" 

At Heero's nod, Kirin felt a pang of joy run through her. She hugged Heero tightly. "We're starting tomorrow, then, just to make it a fresh new start, ok?" She looked at Duo. "First thing tomorrow morning, you wake-up naked and you stay naked unless we have company or we need to go out. No use in having the whole wide world laughing at you."

Duo glared at Kirin who walked happily towards her room. For the most part, it was a good thing they each had their separate rooms or else they'd be arguing again on who Heero was going to sleep with last.

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Heero's Mission Statement (Journal)

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What is she thinking? Why is she doing this to me? Isn't what we have now good enough? No, I suppose it isn't. I should have known that either Kirin or Duo would want this insanity to end. I don't mind it at all, maybe it's because I'm in the middle. I could have either one, but I decided to be selfish and have them both. This is what I deserve. I should have seen it coming. 

Kirin is beautiful and sexy and mine. Duo is...beautiful and...sexy...and...mine. Is there really a difference between them beside genders? When I kiss Duo, he's always aggressive, he always wants more. But when I kiss Kirin, she's always giving me everything that I want. One wants so much more while the other is giving too much. Is this my way of creating balance between Duo and Kirin? I've known Duo longer, we've been lovers for years. And when Kirin came into my life, she's changed every out look that I had in life. Both of them have done something that no one else has ever done for me. They love me, for me.

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Heero shut off his laptop and slunk into his chair. He could hear Duo in his room, listening to loud music and eating chips. The television was on, too, not to mention he forgot to shut off his faucet in their bathroom. He even had his laptop on, playing an MP3 he got off some internet site. In the other room he could hear Kirin typing on her laptop, stopping every once in a while to probably gaze at the moon. The lights would be off and the only light was from the laptop. She'd then probably go to bed and smooth the space where he would sleep when it was her night. Tomorrow would change everything. 

Tomorrow was still to come. He'd make it up to Duo for earlier that morning when he almost seduced him in the bathroom. After Duo, he'd go into Kirin's room and apologize to her for having to see what he and Duo were going to do in the bathroom and probably demonstrate his performance, hand to hand. But tomorrow...he wouldn't be able to do anything. 

An idea slipped into his head and he couldn't believe that he actually considered it. He looked at his phone, teetering on the edge of falling to its doom. Hesitantly he picked up the receiver and dialed a number. He'd wait two rings before attempting to hang it up. It was only a half-ring. She was home.

"Hello?"

"Yume."

"Heero?"

Heero could see the look of disbelief on his sister's face. "Are you coming over tomorrow?"

"Wait, wait. Why do you sound friendly all of a sudden? You NEVER sound friendly! Even to Kirin and Duo! Hell, even to me!"

"That's not important."

"You got into an argument with Kirin again?"

"No." Did he really call a lot when he and Kirin argued? "I was just asking a question. It's a yes or no answer."

"Yes, I am."

Really? "Why?"

"What do you mean why?" Yume demanded. "First you ask, then you ask me why? Boy, Kirin must've snipped your balls off. Or maybe she snipped off Duo's."

"Why are you coming over?" Heero asked.

"Because," said Yume. "I want to know what the hell happened between the three of you. Not that I don't know what's happening already, but aside from the threesome, something must've happened."

"Yume-"

"I'll be there for lunch. Bye!"

And that was it. Heero hung up the receiver and gave a loud sigh. "Hn."

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Kirin woke to the sound of her opposite wall resounding with hard-hitting blows. She sat up and crossed her arms. Just like Duo to use Heero's room for a late night screw. They never had sex in DUO'S room because Duo's room is too much of a mess to screw anywhere. God knows what kind of parasites grew in the braided one's boxers. Kirin shuddered at the thought. That was the one reason why she always made Heero shower and get a blood test before coming near her. She didn't want to be infected with a disease from Duo. For all she knew, the damn disease might even be named after him!

Because she could no longer sleep, she decided to take a shower. She wanted to be fresh and clean in the morning, which was coming in a few short hours. She dragged herself out of bed and forgot that she had to pass through Heero's room to get to the bathroom located in between his and Duo's room. She stopped as she watched Heero, face contorted in pleasure, hands gripping the man in front of him, Duo on all fours, gripping the bed posts, and braid hung like a horse. It never bothered her before, for some reason, and it didn't phase her whenever she had to use the bathroom late at night. But this time around, her temper had become red hot before she could catch herself. She scoffed heavily and thudded towards the bathroom.

"What was that?" Duo gasped. His head flailed from side to side, trying to get a better look at whoever was behind him, not that Heero didn't count.

"Nothing." Heero lied. He had known the moment Kirin woke up. He cursed Duo and the headboard for being so loud and so near to the wall. At least that aspect couldn't be helped unless his headboard faced the window and the entire world could hear that he and Duo were in a sexual act. He lifted Duo's hips higher and felt the American's body tense. 

"Heero..." Duo breathed.

If he would just shut up so Heero could tend to Kirin's hurt feelings. He wasn't going to start the morning with Kirin being pissed at him. In the final moments, he could have sword he heard crying coming from the bathroom. He drove Duo over the edge and waited a tense moment before removing himself swiftly from Duo's canal.

"Heero!" The braided American protested. "What wrong with you? You're just gonna love me then leave me?"

To put it bluntly, "Yes."

He left Duo floundering on the bed. The braided American watched as his lover picked the locked bathroom door and shut it firmly behind him. At least he got a look at Heero's ass. That was enough incentive to go to sleep.

Heero stared at the silhouette of the only woman that ever mattered to him. He could see the mass of silver and the steady gold eyes staring at him from behind the glass doors. Since he was still naked, it might as well been an open invitation to join her.

He became worried when she just continued staring at him. All the while she was silent, she just watched him like a predator, moving back into the rounded corner when he neared. "Kirin, what's wrong."

"You know damn well what's wrong." Kirin hissed. "We can never have what you and Duo have. It was stupid of me to even suggest that little deal we have."

"What are you saying?" He couldn't tell if she was crying or if it was just the water. The only difference was that her voice was beginning to crack. "Kirin, talk to me."

"You've known Duo far longer than me. I should have never come between the two of you." Her voice lowered an octave and she leaned her back against the tiles. "I'm the one that should leave, Heero. I'm the odd one out."

Heero shook his head. He didn't care that his hair was now plastered against his head. He reached out to Kirin and pulled her into his arms. "Don't say that, Kirin. I love you and Duo equally."

"Don't touch me, Heero." Kirin growled. "Don't." When she tried struggling again, Heero's arms tightened. "Heero."

"Kirin." He assumed her tone of voice. "I'm not letting you go."

"Let me go you bastard!" Kirin screamed. She knew words that would hurt Heero, make him hate her. She knew which buttons to push and knew that he'd retaliate. She knew he'd say something he'd regret later, but if she could make him say something irreversible, she'd be able to leave and never look back. She'd keep the memories of her time with Heero and one day she'd find another. "You cock-sucking, son of a queer! Let me go!"

"Kirin." His voice became a loud roar in her ear. He knew what she was doing. She was going to taunt him with words that had never had an effect on him. She was going to make him say something for her to leave. He wasn't going to stoop to her level. Never. "Stop it, Kirin!"

She slipped out of his grasp and for a fleeting moment, gathered all her courage and hit Heero across the face. A faint sliver of blood appeared at the corner of Heero's mouth. With the water on, it washed away the blood as quickly as it formed. They stared at each other, Kirin staring at him and Heero's gaze on her fists. She waited for him to strike back. Was certain that he would. "Aren't you going to hit me, Heero? One for one?"

The corner of Heero's mouth twitched. During the Mariemaia incident, he had done something of the kind to Duo. However, Duo was a little weaker than expected and collapsed. Kirin, for this matter, would still be standing after they were both black and blue.

She moved again to plant another fist into his face, an interesting fight-especially in the shower, but he moved quicker. He caught her wrists and pinned them above her head. She struggled, screaming obscenities and kicking. He managed to bypass her little temper tantrum and plant himself firmly into her and waiting until she calmed. He lifted her higher onto his hips and watched her eyes glaze over and stare into nothing. "I'm not going to hit you, Kirin. I'm going to love you."

He released his grip on her wrists. She slid them around his neck and held him close. Tears mixed with water. She wasn't going to admit that this was what she wanted. She didn't want to leave nor did she want anyone else. He was the only man she wanted.

She gasped softly when his mouth closed over one breast. She dug her nails into his back even as he rammed himself into her. She threw her head back and screamed; flesh hitting flesh against tile. She wrapped her legs around his waist just as her mind and body spun wildly out of control and into the great beyond. He would have gone for another when the door let out a loud knock.

"Who the hell is that?" Kirin asked. She glanced at the doors on either side of the bathroom. "What time is it?"

"If you didn't know, it's five in the morning. You idiots only have one bathroom and you're screwing in it! Let me in!"

Yume. Heero helped Kirin get on steady ground and shut off the water. He threw her a towel and moved to opened the door leading to Duo's room. Naked and staring hard at his sister, he asked, "What are you doing here?"

"You called me didn't you?"

"You said you'd be here at noon."

"Well, Zero's ship came in early. They're tired and hungry. Poa and Trowa just got back and they're tired and hungry. Shin and Ayako and Damen came with Quatre so they're here, too. Yeah-so, Wufei's came along, just because we need a whipping boy."

Kirin emerged from the shower and frowned at Yume. "Why did you go through Duo's room? Heero's door is open."

"Yeah, well, when you enter an apartment and hear a woman screaming from the bathroom, you tend to investigate first. And, I knew someway or the other Heero would have made it a point to screw you."

"Thanks for sensitivity, Yume." Kirin turned on her heel and left the bathroom.

"Patch things up with Kirin already?" Yume asked, beaming.

"This is the last time you'll see that for a whole day." Heero mumbled.

"Huh?" Yume's hands gripped Heero's shoulders. "What happened?"

"Kirin almost left today."

"Again?" Yume waved a hand. "She's been threatening to do that for awhile now."

"I know. Then she came up with a deal that for a time period of a whole day, if I have sex with either her or Duo, I've made the commitment to one of them." Heero explained.

"For one day? What are you doing in the meantime?"

"Deciding. She's giving me a day to decide. Anytime between...now and the end of the day or a day's equivalent, I have to make my decision."

"Or?" Yume's eyes lighted up. She loved being a part of Kirin's diabolical deals. "There's gotta be more."

"If I choose Duo, Kirin will sleep with Milliardo. If I choose Kirin, we ship Duo off to Shin."

"Oh! I wanna join in!"

"This is between the three of us, Yume." Heero shook his head. "I don't want either one of them to leave."

"Is that why you called me, bro?" Yume asked. At Heero's hesitant nod, her smile broadened. "Who do you love more?"

"Don't ask me that. I love them both."

"Who has given you more pleasure?"

"They both have."

"Who do you screw more often?"

Heero narrowed his eyes at his sister. "That's an unfair question. I've been with Duo longer."

Yume nodded her head. "Who do you enjoy making love to more?"

"That's the same as 'who has given me more pleasure.'" Heero shook his head. "I don't know what to do, Yume. I don't want either one of them out of my life."

"Heero," Yume patted the top of his head. "You can't have everything you want. This is a decision you have to make on your own. It has to be either Kirin, the only woman you've been with, or Duo, the only man you've been with."

"And I thought you would help." Heero murmured.

"I am here to help!" Yume declared. "Why do you think I brought everyone here? You sit back and relax and I'll handle everything."

Heero paled considerably. He suddenly realized the error of bringing in his sister to try and play judge, jury, and executioner. He crossed his arms and hoped his headache wouldn't come in the next few minutes. "Hn."

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Duo's Journal

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I can't believe that pale bitch is making Heero choose between us! I know Heero loves, I know he does! Why else would he come to me last night first? If he really loved that psychotic bitch, he would have gone to her! But...why would he go to her last? I heard her screaming in the bathroom. Does he do things differently with her than he does with me? I know Heero and I only have...hold on a sec, let me count...three actual positions, but...hey...three is a very good number!

Now Heero's brought in everyone to help him out with our situation. Is it really such a hard decision to make? All he has to do is choose me and Kirin will be off our hands! I guess in Heero's case, she'll be off his dick. Ha, ha, ha.

Yume's got some weird tag or something that she wants to put on me and the psycho-chick. I have to put on this cock-ring. I don't mind it because it looks like exactly the same piece Heero and I use, so I guess it's ok. And the psycho's here, too. It's reassuring to know that she doesn't want to be here. I don't want her in my room either. Hold on a second.

Shit! This cock ring is too tight! It's like, fit for my pinky! Ow! Does Yume want to castrate me or something? Shit!! And look what the silver-haired whore is wearing? It's a purple streak in her hair. Whoop-de-do. If she put on some make-up and slutty clothes, she'd definitely look like a whore. God, this is awful. I feel like getting off. But I have to respect this deal, after all, it is a little fair, isn't it? What's a little pain? I might as well...oh, yeah...that feels good. It's buzzing...ahhh....oh, oops. Yume and Shido are watching me. Gotta go.

==================================================================================================

Yume Yuy placed a tag into the tip of Duo's braid. "So, whenever Heero goes near you, you'll feel a little jolt."

"But I don't want to wear the cock-ring!" Duo whined. "It's too tight!"

"That's the point!" Yume hissed. "Besides, it's a pleasurable jolt. It doesn't come from the hair, it comes from below."

"Why would Duo need a warning if Heero went near him?" Kirin asked. She was playing with a purple strand of hair. Apparently Yume had designed a tag for her as well. "For that matter, why would I?"

"Here's the thing: if Heero goes near Duo- for instance, Duo would feel the jolt and so would you. Wherever you are, you'd know if Heero was getting a little frisky with the other." Yume snapped on a collar around Kirin's neck. "Since you don't have a cock, that will have to do."

"Thank God." Kirin murmured. She glanced at Duo who was shifting uncomfortably and questionably in his seat. "What's wrong, Duo? Are you imagining how it's like to fuck a woman?"

"Funny, Shido." Duo snapped. "I was just imagining what it would be like to fuck a dog."

"I wouldn't know that, Duo, I don't play with myself."

Yume stood in the center of the verbal barrage between Heero's lovers. She would of loved to have been there the first time they met. In fact, Heero, Kirin, or Duo had never told her or the other's how they met. It was just a coincidence that they all knew each other in the first place. "I'm splitting you two up, as much as I'd hate to. Trowa, Poa, Shin, and Wufei are hanging onto Duo. Damen, Ayako, Zero, and Quatre are with you. I'm sticking with Heero."

"What are we going to do?" Kirin asked, slightly annoyed that a purple strand is in her silver hair. "What's this plan going to accomplish?"

"Well," Yume scratched the back of her head. "I've only gotten as far as splitting everyone up."

"Yume."

Kirin and Duo both turned to Heero and in turn, received a very shocking jolt. Duo, on the other hand, was having multiple orgasms while Kirin's nipples hardened as well as becoming intimately wet. "Shit..."

Heero stared at the state his lovers were in. He turned angrily to his sister. "What did you do to them?"

Yume grinned. "If you come anywhere near them, they'll get a jolt. Meaning since Duo has a cock-ring, he'll have an orgasm and since Kirin only has a collar, she'll be all hot and bothered."

Heero felt his own body harden at the prospect of both of his lovers in a state of heat and lust. "We can't postpone it a day, Kirin?"

"No." Kirin shook her head, feeling slightly embarrassed for being so...vulnerable in front of Yume. "We go with the plan. By the end of this day, everything should be settled."

"All right. One day it is." Yume pressed something on her watch which started a countdown. "When this watch goes to zero, the tag I gave Heero will tune him in to the man or woman of his choice. And as a note, the tag is hooked up to his brain so, he'll go with what he thinks, not what he feels."

"Is that fair?" asked Kirin.

"It'll have to be." replied Yume. "I thought up all of this in a short span of time. I'm not a genius like Heero."

Kirin stood and looked at Duo, holding out her hand. "May the best man or woman win."

Duo looked at her hazily. "Sure, thing." He looked at Heero. "Come near me again."

Without thinking, Heero stepped forward and another jolt rushed through Kirin and Duo. Kirin collapsed while Duo went through a series of orgasms.

"Damn it, Duo! These tags are not for getting-off!" Yume smacked Duo's leg. "This is serious."

"Sure. Oh, Heero..." Duo smiled drunkenly at Heero.

Heero shook his head. "No, Duo. Be serious." He looked at Kirin and because he loved her and cared, bent down to help her up. He felt the jolt this time, collapsing over Kirin and pinning her under him, and like Duo, going through a series of mind-blowing jolts.

"Hey! That's not fair!" Duo cried, jumping up, then immediately going through a frenzy of orgasms.

"He was being courteous." Kirin moaned. "Heero get off me! I'm gonna go crazy!"

"You're not...the only...one." Heero groaned. 

Yume shook her head. When it came to love her brother was an idiot. She helped him up and pointed him towards the door. "Wait for me outside. Duo, go out the back. Kirin go into the garage."

"Where did you get these, Yume?" Kirin mumbled. She managed to sit up and shake off the dazed look on her face.

"Eh, these were just lying around. Me and Xel are already used to shock therapy."

"I see." Kirin moved to her feet and lethargically walked towards the garage.

Duo shook his head. "If Kirin wins, I don't think I'd mind having this contraption."

"Uh-huh. You're going to Shin after this if Kirin wins. You'd better learn how to be straight or else. I hear Shin's a bit of a tight-ass when it comes to having her man screwing another man, especially if its Kirin's man."

"Heero is not Kirin's man!" Duo's blue hues turned dark. "I am Shinigami and Heero Yuy is mine!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kirin's Journal

==================================================================================================

Today is the last straw. I've given Heero an ultimatum. He now has to choose between me and Duo. Last night, I was telling Heero the truth. Something inside me made me tell him that I didn't belong there, and that's true. I want Heero badly enough that I want to see him happy. Even if it is with that goddamn queer. His happiness means more to me than the world. It was good while it lasted and I suppose being with Milliardo isn't so bad. I'd have to learn to adjust with Noin being there all the time, but God knows that she never made a pass at him. I guess I was meant to be the ruiner of relationships. Not that Noin and Milliardo ever had a sexual relationship.

Last night, while I was screaming at Heero, I saw the look in his eyes. He truly cared for me. He really didn't want to let me go. I tried escaping him, but he held on to me as if he depended on me. As if leaving would kill him. That would be the last thing I'd ever do. I'd never hurt him. Never.

If he did choose Duo, I'd suck it up and leave. I have no right here. This isn't my place anymore. They were happy without me and I'm sorry to say it but...they look better together. Sometimes I wish I could have gotten to know Duo better, maybe we wouldn't be in this predicament. But because our personalities clash, I guess it had to be this way.

Heero, I love you. Whatever decision you make, I'll still love you.

==================================================================================================

"I am Kirin Shido and Heero Yuy is mine!"

Ayako Meguri slowly nodded her head. "Yes, Kirin. Yes, he is. Where should we go first?" She and the others had only been given a slight overview of what was going on between Heero, Kirin, and Duo. As far as the deal and the one day term, they were clueless. "We can go to the Disney Dome."

"No." Kirin shook her head. "Heero destroyed that one."

"Disney Dome Two?" Damen asked.

"That one, too." Kirin almost smiled at the memory. "He doesn't like Disney because Relena used to take him there. Then they threw him out because he started chasing all the characters with a stick of dynamite and a detonator. Not to mention that he rigged up all the rides somehow and made them go as fast as a Gundam in hyperspace, every man woman and child were sick for weeks on end. As revenge for being banned from the Disney Dome, he destroyed everything Disney and/or affiliated with them. Then he destroyed the color p-i-n-k. It's no longer in the dictionary nor a color."

"Wow." Damen shook his head. "I'd hate to be on his bad side."

"His bad side is on his back." Kirin said vehemently. "That little nut-ball keeps fucking him from behind and Heero's gonna have to find a new way to take a shit!"

Damen and Ayako quickly moved away from Kirin, switching places with Zero and Quatre. Zero could handle Kirin. Quatre was probably going to have a heart attack soon.

"Kirin, how long have you known Heero? You know, it's got to be quite a coincidence that us girls were all friends, Yume and Heero were brother and sister, and we only met the guys a few months back." asked Zero. She hoped that made sense.

The girls, Kirin, Shin, Yume, Poa, Ayako, and Zero had all been friends since elementary school. During high school they each broke off into their own little world's and came back, four years later with Yume finding out Heero was her brother, Poa was now dating Trowa, Ayako had found a man named Damen on one of the colonies, Shin was the heir to a large, stockholding colony and had Trowa as a brother, and Zero was being courted by Quatre Winner. The girls hadn't met up until a year ago when Quatre had called for a gathering and low and behold, the girls and the boys saw each other for the first time. But even before the gathering, Kirin, Heero, and Duo were already a threesome.

"I knew him for about a year." Kirin sai wistfully. "He was on a colony with that limp-dick, Duo. I was the contact and Heero and that dog-fucker were my charges. I was immediately interested in Heero. The mission was just to infiltrate the colonies computers and insert a virus. After the mission, the little American shit got sick and Heero replaced him with me. We were together on a transport for a few days and we got to talking." Kirin spotted a restaurant she and Heero frequently ate at. "Let's go in there for breakfast. So, as I was saying, we got to talking and eventually with the piss-face, the three of us became partners."

"You have interesting names for Duo." Quatre said cautiously.

"Oh, yeah, sometimes I had to go into the dictionary to look up new words. Hard to believe that a 'cock-muncher' isn't in the dictionary."

Quatre turned a little red, hearing the word. He hid behind Zero who was used to Kirin's foul language when talking about a rival.

"So, we were partners." Kirin continued. "One night, Duo was off grocery shopping or whatever, and I got a little hot and bothered with Heero looking so damn good. Then I asked him if he was with a woman. He mentioned some bitch Relena and I made use of my time with him. I made sure he'd forget that name."

"What did you do?" Quatre asked innocently. He really had no idea what he was getting himself into.

"We fucked, Quatre." Kirin replied, just as the hostess came to her side. Kirin flashed her a look and the hostess quietly showed them to their table. "Meaning-" She knew the wide-eyed expression on the not-so-innocent face of the Arab. "I rode him like a very well built Gundam on ZERO mode."

Quatre took that fateful moment to faint into a chair. Zero shook her head sadly. "He was like this the first time we did it. Thank God I wasn't with Wufei." Zero shuddered and put a hand to her stomach. "Ugh, I don't know why I mentioned that. From what Sally's told me, he's had several nosebleeds every time they mention the subject."

"He has to learn sometime, Zero." Kirin patted Quatre's forehead. "He'll get over it."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"He'll get over it." said Shin Kin'Youbi. "I am going to do everything in my power to make Duo straight!"

"It's just as fun when its crooked." said Poa. She noticed Trowa's raised eyebrow and grinned. "I've been hanging around Kirin too long. But, as I was saying," She cleared her throat. "It is fun crooked. God knows how long I had to straighten out Trowa's."

Shin looked horrified. "Duo's gay, Poa."

Poa continued smiling. "I know. But I'm not going to emphasize, I'll let you decide what I meant by that."

"Thanks." Shin looked over Poa's shoulder and saw Duo sitting in a booth with Wufei. "What do you think they're talking about?"

Wufei held a bloodied napkin over his nose. "Would you shut up, Maxwell?"

"What? You asked me what was wrong and I told you! My cock is really getting choked up! I need to get it off!"

"Don't tell that to me!" Wufei snarled. "I have a woman!"

"Women are weak and useless!" Duo sniped. He paused, feeling it slightly weird saying those words. "That Kirin Shido is no good! She's trying to take Heero away from me!"

"Let her have him! Why pass up a good thing such as Shin? She's practically in love with you!" Wufei had to get another set of napkins to stop the second wave.

"I like Shin as a friend." Duo glanced at Shin who was now concentrating on something on her plate of food. "She's pretty and fun to be with, but she's not Heero. I mean, if I wanted Heero in a female's form it'd be-"

"Kirin." Wufei replied. He had to laugh at Duo's paled expression. He yelped when Duo pulled him up by his collar.

"Don't you ever say that again! Kirin is not Heero, Kirin will never be Heero, and Kirin will have Heero over my dead body!"

Wufei slumped over his seat, watching warily as Duo got up from his side and stormed into the bathroom. "Duo, what are you doing?"

"I'm going to get this thing off!" Duo replied.

Shin only heard 'get' and 'off.' She stood and hurried to Wufei's table. "What did you say to him?"

"We were just talking about you." Wufei replied. "I asked him why should he pass up someone like you. He said he wanted someone like Heero, you know, female form. I suggested Kirin and he got upset. Now's he's going to get off in the bathroom."

"What?" Shin jumped up and ran into the bathroom. "He can't do that!"

"Yes! Yes! YES!"

Wufei sighed and tipped his head back, feeling another nosebleed come on. "He just did."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heero stared at Yume. "Dee-seven."

"Shit!" Yume glowered at her brother. "You sunk my battleship. Again."

Heero smirked and tallied off the nine hundredth game. "I told you not to play battleship with me, Yume. You didn't listen."

"Shut up!" Yume leaned her head on her hand. "This is boring. Have you made a decision yet?"

"Every time you mention it, I get all tense and confused again." He shook his head. "I shouldn't have..."

Yume leaned closer. "Shouldn't have what? Phase Two: Regrets."

Heero scowled at Yume. He looked at the tag around his neck. "Off the record, Yume."

"Huh? Yeah, sure." Yume snapped open the collar and placed it under the couch. "Secret, bro?"

"I love them both, I can tell you that, now." Heero sighed fretfully. "After Relena, I had a phobia of women. I thought they would always be like her. I didn't want anything to do with fanatical, obsessed women. I swore them off and because of my intense training, I followed through. When Duo came around, he was always a ladies man. I was lonely and he always had someone. So, I suppose, one night, the loneliness was consuming so much of me that I snapped. I thought I'd never find a woman for me and I'd be alone. I thought of you because you are my sister. But when I looked at Duo, I guess I saw a potential friend there. A lover. It was, in fact, Duo that kissed me. I wasn't drunk- I don't drink, actually- I was wide awake and sane. I liked the feeling of someone kissing me and holding me and making love to me."

"If you consider doggie-style love-making." Yume snickered. Her face became serious on the account of Heero. "Go on."

"When Kirin came to me, completely different from what I thought women were. I felt alive. I had Duo and now I had her. Two people that loved me. Kirin was everything I wanted in a woman. Duo was..." Heero's eyes took on a faraway look. "I didn't love him at first. It became a necessity. A need. Then it grew on me. I've never told him before but, I was scared. When Kirin came to me, when we first made love, she made me feel wanted. Making love was no longer a necessity. It became sacred to me because I have no emotions to reveal to them. I can only make love to them to make them understand how much they mean to me. I have no words to express."

Yume nodded her head softly. "Actions do speak louder than words, bro. But what are you saying? You're not really gay?"

"I guess not." Heero replied. "Only when I'm with Duo, I think."

"Huh." Yume tipped her head back. "Then there's one thing we have to do."


	2. The Rod

Key:

~~~~~~~ breaks

======= computer entry

*********** flashback (there's only one)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part 2

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Heero's Mission Statement

==================================================================================================

I don't know what Yume has planned for me. Unfortunately she's getting Xellos involved and quite frankly, I don't trust anything Xellos does unless I can successfully shoot him. Yume's managed to actually talk me into sitting in my room for awhile. I don't mind at all. I have a secret place for all the pictures I have of Duo and Kirin and I look at them constantly. 

A picture of Duo sleeping in the bathroom; I remember that moment. We had just painted his room and he couldn't stand the smell. It didn't help that chlorine mixed with arsenic and flammable gas was in the paint base, but I played innocent even though I knew Kirin was the one who mixed the chemicals. It was Kirin's night with me and Duo didn't want to interfere so he stayed in the bathroom. I took a picture of him and stored it in the many memories I made with him.

Then there's this picture of Kirin, sitting on top of the roof, gazing at the sunset. I didn't even have to look to the horizon to know how enormous and beautiful the sun was. I could see it in her eyes. Peaceful and serene. I was lucky to take a picture of her just as Duo came from behind her and pushed her off the roof. I'm amazed she was even startled. But then Kirin always had a good grip on things and because Duo was stupid enough to leave his braid dangling over the side, he fell off the roof and broke her fall.

Duo seems to be getting banged up a lot ever since Kirin came along. It didn't help that Kirin had a natural dislike to him. I admit, Duo was annoying in the beginning of our relationship, but he grew on me. Kirin and I were just too alike that I don't think I even noticed anything different in our relationship.

Uh-oh. Yume's giving me that look. I know that look. Kirin gives me that look when she's planning on doing something crazy to me. Yume and Kirin have been spending too much time together. I'll have to fix that.

Great, Xellos is with her and he's holding some sort of...rod. I can only see the top half. Xellos' damn cape is obstructing the lower portion. I don't like the way the both of them are smiling at me. Why do I have a feeling this is a bad idea?

Omae o korosu.

==================================================================================================

Heero pushed away from his desk and stood to meet with Yume who still had a coy smile plastered on her face. "What are you doing?"

"Soldier, to ATTENTION!"

Heero glared at his sister. "I don't follow your orders. If at all possible, you should be following mine."

"Just do it, Heero. It's for your own good." Yume giggled softly and gazed at Xellos behind her.

Xellos continued smiling with his eyes closed and shut the door behind him as he entered. "At attention, Heero."

Heero straightened, arms at his sides. "What is this all about?"

"You'll see." Yume nodded at Xellos who simply snapped his fingers and several large Gundanium rings wrapped around Heero's arms, pinning them to his sides. "Since I know you and Duo do it all the time, this shouldn't be too hard for you."

"What?"

Yume turned Heero so that he was now facing the wall. She made him bend over in a perfect ninety degree angle and wrapped her hands at the hems of his shorts. "Ready, Xel?"

"Yume, what the hell are you doing?"

"It's called an anal probe, bro." Yume smiled broadly. "Xellos is an expert on this. Just relax your butt cheeks and it'll glide right in. It's lubricated isn't it, Xel?"

"Huh." Xel promptly pushed the probing end of the rod into his mouth and sucked for a moment, getting the tip nice and wet.

Yume found it strangely enticing, but remember the task at hand. "The rod is a kind of Gay Meter, so to speak. The further we ram it in, the more gay you are. If there's some resistance, you're not really hardcore gay!"

Heero thought Yume sounded a little too cheerful. "You are not ramming that rod in me."

"Of course I'm not!" said Yume. She leaned close to Heero's ear. "Xellos is."

Before Heero could even comprehend what was going on, Yume pulled his shorts down and spread his les. "OMAE O KOROSU!"

Xel pulled the blunt tip from his mouth and positioned it just outside of Heero's rectum. "Open wide."

"Omae o Korosu!" Heero repeated, ominously.

The rod slid in, just as Yume predicted, but stopped, just a few centimeters in. Xellos stared innocently at the rod. "It should go in a little deeper than this." He jabbed the rod further in, emitting a squawk from Heero.

"HN!"

"Ooh, good one, bro." Yume eyed the rod. "Only three inches? You've been screwing Duo for HOW LONG?" She found the irony in her last statement. "How long is he, anyway?"

Xel pulled back the rod for a moment then jerked it forward. "It must be a real tight space in there."

"Fuck." Heero resigned. He struggled with the Gundanium rings but found any movement caused the rod to...vibrate. "Why the hell is that goddamn rod vibrating?"

That was as much expletives Yume had ever heard from her brother. She petted Heero's head. "You're a real screamer underneath that perfect exterior aren't you bro? But to answer your question...sore wa himitsu desu!"

"YUME! Get this thing out of me!" Heero snarled.

Xel shook his head at Yume. "No, we can't. Not yet. We're not getting the correct readings. Further. We have to go in further."

Heero hadn't realized it, but while trying to pull away from the rod, only to be pulled back, it seemed he was enjoying it. "You are not going to go any further. I won't allow it!"

"Ignore him, Xel." Yume was more than adequately amused at the predicament her brother was in. "How long does it have to be?"

"I don't know." Xel shrugged. "Until the red light goes away."

This was a first for Yume. She hadn't notice the red light on top of the hilt before. "And if the red light goes away?"

"If the red turns to green, then we can get the correct readings. Then," Xellos pointed to a dark purple light. "This will light up meaning we've got the result." he pointed to a two more lights, pink for gay and blue for straight. "Then the result will light up either one of these pretty colors."

"Ah." Yume grabbed a hold of the rod and for fun, moved it from side to side.

"Hn. Mm. Shit. Omae, ah, fuck it." Heero resolved to being used as a guinea pig, not that it wasn't a bad position he was in.

Xel stood directly behind Heero now, trying to find a better reception for the rod. "I think it has to be in a certain angle. Straight is not working for him."

"Then move it around." Yume explained, as if it wasn't a big deal that she was enjoying watching her brother being probed by her boyfriend, Xel. "It has to find some sort of frequency, doesn't it?"

"I suppose. I only used this once before." Xel placed a hand on Heero's hip while shoving the rod deeper into Heero's canal. "Can you feel that, Heero? Can you?"

Heero's lips were bleeding from biting too hard. How the hell could Xellos ask him that when he was standing behind him, a rod up his ass, and his hand on his hip? For that matter, how could he say that so damn calmly?

"Get...it...off..." Heero growled. The inside muscles clenched and unclenched. He swore he was going to break it with his ass if they didn't take it out now. 

Xel began to pull and push the rod in and out at a rhythmic pace, still trying to see if the length of the rod would go in any further. He was oblivious to the noise and reaction he was receiving from Heero. "I don't understand. If what you say is true, Yume, then the rod should be in a good six-seven inches. It only goes up to three."

"Push harder." Yume leaned on Heero's back as if he weren't there. "If Heero's cock reflects how much he could take up the ass, then it should be a good seven inches or more."

How could they talk as if this was an all natural occurrence? This was the last time he'd ever ask for Yume's help ever again!

"Ok." Xel braced himself behind Heero more firmly, his purple cape brushing against Heero's bare buttocks. "Have you ever played football, Heero?"

"Football?" Heero gasped. Wasn't that some American sport with big large men, touching each other's asses and passing a ball on a football field? "What does that have to do with this?"

Xel laughed softly. "Green 31. Green 33. Green 45. HIKE!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kirin Shido perked up. She looked at Zero who turned her head and gazed at the bathroom. "Is that who I think it is?"

"I believe it is Duo." said Quatre, rubbing his forehead. "I wonder why he said 'yes' three times?"

Kirin stood, stalking towards the bathrooms. "I don't believe this." She pushed the bathroom door open and gawked at the sight she saw. "Well, Duo, you certainly have proved you can bend both ways."

"Get out of here, Shido!" Duo screamed.

Kirin tipped her head to the side to the other person in the small space. "And Shin, such a respectable person and you're down on your knees. Hmm."

Zero appeared behind Kirin. "What all the commotion about? Oh, hey-Shin! That's getting down and dirty."

Shin's mouth was too preoccupied to answer. Instead, she kicked the door shut, leaving Kirin and Zero giggling manically back to the table where they were joined by Poa, Trowa, and Wufei.

"What happened in there?" asked Quatre. "Is Duo alright?"

"Oh, he's more than alright, Quatre." Zero smirked. "What do you have to say, Kirin?"

"Trowa," Kirin said pleasantly, "I think you should consider making room for Duo on that colony of yours."

"Why is that?" Trowa demanded, curious as well as furiously mad.

"Do you want to look into the bathroom and see what Shin's doing?" asked Kirin.

"I think we should we go back." asked Ayako. "Whatever Duo and Shin are doing, I think we should leave them alone."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kirin's Journal

==================================================================================================

I got home today and Heero wasn't here. I thought Yume said that they'd be staying home? Well, if it's any consolation, Xellos is here. That wolf Yume and Xel call Corbin is peeing in our garden. Funny, huh? I never knew we had a garden. Maybe it was Duo's. But if it's Heero's, at least he doesn't have to worry about watering it for a whole month.

The other's have come home with me. Trowa stayed behind just in case. I think he's a sweet older brother, watching over Shin like a hawk and threatening to kill anything that fits the description of every man in the universe. 

Why am I talking about Shin? Well, seeing as what she and Duo were doing in the bathroom at that restaurant, I was just thinking. If Heero found out, would he still stay with Duo? 

You're probably wondering why I'm not calling Duo any names right now, huh? I'm too tired. I haven't had a good night's rest like I should of had. Heero's a fuck-nut. Yes, you head me right. Heero is a fuck-nut. He fucks anything that walks on two legs. Anything with a piece of meat hanging in the front. And anything where he could put his cock in. 

No, I'm not upset. I'm just observing all of this. Am I here only because I'm a warm place Heero could put that monstrosity in me? Excuse me, its not a monstrosity. It's the eighth wonder of the world. Hard to believe I can actually fit that thing in me. Hell, it's hard to believe that something that big isn't suffering from some rare disease. Elephantitis- or however you spell it, I'm too tired to think.

What the hell was that? It came from Heero's room. Is that Yume? I think I can make out Heero. But...Xellos? Oh, I know he's here but why with Heero? Heero doesn't trust him as long as he can't shoot him. I better take a look.

==================================================================================================

Kirin slid away from her desk and knocked quietly on Heero's door. "Heero, you ok in there?" When she heard nothing, she tried to open the door. "Heero, what's going on? Are you ok in there?"

Yume opened the door a crack and grinned at Kirin. "Sorry, but we're trying to fix up Heero for you."

"Fix? What did you do to him, Yume?"

"Nothing! We were just giving him a little test! We're still in the early stages of it. Come back in an hour and I think he'll have a decision for you." Yume paused for a minute. "Where's Duo?"

"With Shin. She was giving him a blow job in the restaurant so we left. Trowa's still there, though."

"Ah. This is all in your favor, Kirin. Be right back."

Kirin stared at the door for a moment longer. "You break him and I'll kill you!"

"Sure, sure!" Yume called from the other side of the door.

Kirin sighed softly as she turned and walked towards the living room.

Heero was bound and gagged. "KIRIN!"

Yume shook her head at the position her brother was in. "Xel, I thought you said seven or more, not ten."

"I guess I'm an overzealous football player." Xel shrugged. "Ok, Heero, clench your muscles like you're taking a shit."

Heero glared at the wall, refusing to look at Xellos or Yume, but did as he was told. His inner muscles clenched and surrounded the rod while Xel pulled. He was never going to go through with an experiment like this ever again. EVER!

Xel laughed when the rod pulled out thee inches. "Good. You're at the natural depth. Seven inches, right?"

The light on the rod turned from red to green. It stayed like that for a moment then turned to purple. The two light, pink and blue lighted and dimmed. The pink flashed for a moment then blue and remained.

"You're STRAIGHT!" Yume declared. "You're a little gay, but you are definitely straight!"

"Then get this fucking rod out of my ass!" Heero growled.

Yume grinned and got a firm grip on the rod. "Curious, Heero...do you like this?" She pumped the rod in and out in a quick succession, watching Heero flounder. She laughed maniacally as Heero's face turned a shade of red. "Ah, actions speak louder than words."

Before Yume could do any more, Heero began to squeeze his inner muscles, trying to get the rod out by force. "I think you've done enough for me."

"Oh, yes, did I tell you I wanted to be compensated for my time?" Yume asked pleasantly.

"What?" Heero turned to that he was facing Yume. "Compensated? You're my sister."

"Yes?" Yume pumped the rod again, making Heero squirm and moan. "It's just a...favor."

Heero didn't like the look in Yume's eyes nor did he like the fact that her hand was gripping the rod as if her life depended on it.

"Hn." After a moment. "Shit." After another moment. "Fuck."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Duo fell limply to one side, staring at the female across the bathroom. "Well..."

"Well..." Shin repeated. She wiped at her mouth and glanced around the bathroom. "We're in the men's restroom."

"Yeah." Duo rose to his feet slowly, zipping up his pants and checking out his braid. "So..."

"So..." Shin helped herself up and mentally kicked herself for doing something in a public restroom. Thank god it was only Kirin and Zero who saw them. She didn't know what she'd do if Trowa walked in. What were they going to do? It was an awkward silence, more so since they were both talkative people.

Duo stared at Shin and for the first time, saw her as a woman. He liked the way her eyes shifted from green to lavender and back. He liked her curly hair and he thought she looked sexy with her glasses on. Blue suited her just as black suited him. His body was reacting again, not because he was freed from his cock-ring, but because of what he and Shin shared. 

He stared hard at her, remembering her mouth on his organ, sucking and teasing, her head taking him in all at once. How come Heero never did that to him? Sure, he did it plenty of times to Heero, but Heero was so much of the silent participant. He didn't want to do anything. He just lay there and let him do the work! Well, no more! Duo was going to have a mistress!

"Want to do it again?"

Shin blinked rapidly, scratching her ears to make sure she heard correctly. "What was that?"

Duo unzipped his pants again and this time, laid it on the floor. "Do you want to be on top or should I?"

"Sex?" Shin squeaked. "Here? AGAIN?"

"Why not? Door's locked, right?" Duo eyed the lock. "It will be longer than five minutes, right?"

"Uh, um..." Shin's face turned a slight hue of red. "What...about Heero?"

"I'd say screw him, but your friend Kirin is already. And I don't want to add another person to the problem. I just want Heero, not an orgy." Duo explained. He pointed the floor again. "Do you want me to be on top?"

"Is that really going to be an issue here?" Shin demanded.

"Or we could always do yin-yang." Duo was finally undressed and waiting. "I can take it both ways, baby."

"Yin-yang?" Shin scratched her head. "Do you mean sixty-nine?"

"Yin-yang, sixty-nine, both sound dirty to me and I want to do it!" Duo sat cross-legged on the bathroom floor. "Don't worry about my clothes, I go to an expert dry cleaners."

"In a bathroom?" said Shin. This wasn't exactly what she had in mind for her sexual encounters with Duo to be like.

"Why not? If either one of us has to pee, we can just roll over."

Shin got a sick picture in her mind. "Maybe we shouldn't do sixty-nine or yin-yang or whatever the hell you call it."

"All right." Duo spread his legs and waited patiently. "Do you masturbate, Shin?"

Shin felt her face go completely red from either embarrassment or anger. "What kind of question is that?"

"I don't know." Duo shrugged. "I do. I do it a lot of times when I'm with Heero."

"Well I'm not Heero, am I?" Shin snapped, a little hurt and surprised. And yet, Duo looked so adorable and innocent. This would probably be one chance she'd ever have in making Duo see the error of his ways. "You're not just going to lie there are you?"

"Silent participation? No. I've had enough from Heero." Duo grinned at Shin. "Are we going to screw now?"

Shin made sure she'd keep this experience as far away from Trowa as possible. If she was successful in making Duo straight, she wouldn't want Trowa killing Duo. She stripped off her clothes leisurely and paused every so often to look at Duo for encouragement. The erect organ told her that she was doing everything perfectly fine. 

"Come to me, Shin." Duo said softly. He opened his arms in an embrace and laughed when Shin quickly sat beside him. "I'm not going to bite you unless you want me to, Shin. But answer me this..." Duo helped ease Shin on her back. His fingers traced over the curves of her body, lingering just around her mid-section. "Do you masturbate?"

"DUO!"

Duo winced and laughed heartily. "I was just kidding, Shin!" He kissed her forehead and stopped thinking of Heero's method of lovemaking, not that he had any. All he did was lie down and say "Hn" most of the time. With Kirin, you couldn't even hear him, she was screaming too loud.

As Duo descended upon Shin, he realized that a sudden weight lifted from his back and it wasn't his braid. He then realized, as he moved deeper into Shin, that he wasn't missing Heero as much as he thought he would. He stared at Shin's taut expression, the way her eyes clenched shut and the little beads of sweat appearing over her brow. He watched her as she breathed his name and clutched him like a security blanket. She wasn't even attempting to hold anything back. She wanted him and she wanted him now.

"Shin." Duo sighed. He wanted her to look at him. To see her eyes when they both rode over the edge and exploded in pleasure and ecstasy. "Look at me, please."

Shin's eyes opened as Duo's body picked up an irregular rhythm, slamming his body into hers and virtually ignoring the banging sounds coming from the door. Couldn't those stupid people wait for a few more minutes? So what if they had to use the men's bathroom? They could use the women's!

"Get the fuck out of here!" Duo screamed at the door. He found it fascinating that Shin was now solely concentrated on him and their release. 

"SHIN!"

Shin's eyes widened and went opaque just as her body broke free from the tension, allowing her to relax and to breathe. She felt warm liquid seep into her, felt the spinning world come to a gradual slow. "Oh, Duo...I-"

"SHIN!"

"Oh, SHIT!" Shin sat up, banging her head against Duo's. "OW! That's TROWA!"

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~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

LATER THAT DAY...

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Kirin watched Heero curiously as he prowled the room, not even attempting to sit. It seemed whenever he attempted the action, he'd jump up like he had rammed a rod up his ass and someone, who will forever remain nameless, fucked him with that same rod a few billion times. "Heero, Yume said you have a special announcement for all of us."

Heero leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. "Where's Duo?"

"Last I heard," said Zero, smirking. "He was with Shin. And Trowa."

"It's been a few hours since then, Zero." said Quatre. "They should have been back by now."

"I admit I'm worried about Shin and Trowa." said Kirin. "I could careless about the Duo."

"We should look for them." said Ayako. "They're not familiar with the place except Duo. And what if he left them there at the restaurant?"

"Then he's a prick." Kirin answered. "He should at least be courteous enough to send them here."

Damen cleared his throat. "They're here. I just saw them outside the window."

Poa looked too calm and relaxed. She stared at Trowa just as he entered. "I hope I don't have to straighten anything out, Trowa."

Trowa, as silent as the day he met Poa, shook his head and sat on the arm of the chair. He gazed at Shin and Duo who walked into the apartment, arm in arm. "They have an announcement."

Heero straightened and for a small moment, felt a pang of longing for Duo. Then he remembered that...what did Yume call it?- a gay meter, and knew that he was slightly gay but fully straight. "We can start then."

"Us first." Shin interjected. "Please." She nudged Duo who nodded. 

Heero waited. Judging by the way Shin clung to Duo like a second skin, it seemed Duo made his own decision without him. He'd miss him, then again, he'd have Kirin. "Fine. Go on."

"Duo and I are going to get married."

There were astonished faces as well as murmurs of congratulations. Quatre was the first to hug both Shin and Duo. "When's the ceremony?"

"In a few more months. We still have to plan and everything!" Shin said happily. She was genuinely happy, not to mention when Trowa saw her and Duo on the floor in the bathroom, he calmly took Duo away and they had a pleasant...talk.

__

****************************************************************************************************************************************************

Trowa's one eye glowered at Shin then moved slowly towards Duo. His sister and the gay Duo Maxwell, in a public bathroom. He shook his head, his wayward bang following his movement. "Get dressed. We're going for a drive."

Shin swallowed hard. "Oh, no. Not the 'Drive.'"

"What's that?" Duo asked, pulling on his clothes. "Are we going anywhere special?"

"No, Duo, the 'Drive' is when Trowa drives around with my boyfriends, or in this case- you, to talk. Not nice, small talk, but talk about the future and stuff. Who knows what he'll say?"

"Huh." Duo shrugged. This won't be so bad." He and Shin both walked to the parking lot where Trowa had managed to get a transport truck. 

"Get in. Shin, stay here. I'll pick you up later." Trowa said softly.

"Trowa! Don't kill him!" Shin cried. She watched as the truck drove away. "Oh, Duo..."

[SEVEN HOURS LATER]

Shin sat in the restaurant booth, ordering her thirtieth coke. She finally spotted the truck and jumped from the booth, greeting Duo and her brother. "So, what happened?"

Duo glanced at Trowa then nodded. He was handed a small box and got to one knee. "Shin, will you marry me?"

"How did this happen?" Shin gazed at the box. "Trowa?"

Trowa still looked grim. "If he didn't marry you, I'd cut off his braid and his manhood and jettison it to space. If he did, he'd have fifty percent of the royalties, plus, he'd be the father to your children."

"Oh, Trowa, that was so sweet of you!" Shin hugged Trowa and kissed Duo. "Let's go tell the others!"

Duo shrugged. Well, at least he didn't have to count on Heero to make the decision. Trowa's threat seemed more real since all of Heero's threats were all super-imposed bluffs. He gazed at Trowa who he thought looked a little cute with his eye covered like that. If he just moved that hair aside and wore something a little more revealing...wait, Trowa was a clown! 

A sexy clown at that...

****************************************************************************************************************************************************

"I think it's safe to say that I've made my decision." said Heero, glancing at Duo for any reaction. When he found none, he continued. "After a serious test, both Yume and Xellos have found that I am two percent homosexual and ninety-eight percent heterosexual."

Kirin was almost jumping for joy. But she remained quite. Heero was still speaking. "Is there any more news, Heero?"

Heero glanced at Yume, still remembering his sadistic little sister's ministrations on his ass. "The two percent of my homosexuality will be taken care of by Xellos."

Every face turned to Xellos who tried to blend into a neon-green painting Duo had purchased. The silence ensued until Kirin cleared her throat.

"What is Xellos going to do?" Kirin asked warily.

Yume cleared her throat. "Because you're one of my best friend's, Kirin. I'm going to cure Heero's gay-ness."

"You can't cure that." Kirin said absent-mindedly. "It his choice."

"Yes, I know. But I can narrow down that choice." said Yume. "I can make it so that he no longer has a choice to be gay. After all, he'll have you."

"And what about Duo?" asked Shin. "He needs to be cured, too!"

"Uh, ahh, Shin?" Duo laughed nervously. "Is that really necessary?"

"Yes!" Shin said sternly. She looked at Trowa. "Trowa?"

Trowa cleared his throat. "Either that or the braid, Duo."

Duo resigned himself to his fate. "Fine. I'll do it."

"Good! Does anyone want to watch?" Yume asked, jumping up. 

Heero shook his head before Kirin could inquire. Instead, she was stolen away to Heero's room.

Yume crossed her arms. "Well, that's not good, Heero won't demonstrate for us." She turned to Xellos. "Get out our whipping boy!"

Wufei appeared wearing nothing but a loincloth. He was strapped to a metal bed with dual posts holding his arms and legs spread-eagle. His back was to the confused audience. "Get me off this contraption, woman!"

"Bend." Yume instructed Xellos. She watched as Wufei bent down in a ninety-degree angle and the barely-there loincloth gave the audience a glimpse of a pale ass. "Now, Duo, watch carefully. We'll do the same thing to you when it's your turn."

Xel had the rod in his mouth again, wetting it to a dull shine and pulling it out of his mouth for everyone to see. "The usual length of a man's canal is about ten inches. This rod is four feet long. You do the math."

Wufei began thrashing wildly. "What are you doing? What is that thing? What are you planning on doing to me?"

"Quiet, bitch!" Yume cried. She hit Wufei's ass with her leather whip. "You refer to me as Mistress Yume and Master Xellos! You speak out of turn and you'll be punished. Xellos..."

Xellos put on a pair of white gloves and parted Wufei's butt cheeks. "This is what I call a 'hole in one.'"

The rod was suddenly sucked into Wufei's canal as if it was a bottomless pit.

The entire audience in the living room, though horrified that Wufei was butt-naked, were even more astonished that the rod had gotten in at least twelve inches. On the first try.

"HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!" Duo screamed, moving closer to Wufei. "WHAT KIND OF FREAK ARE YOU?"

Wufei was turning red by the minute. "Would you mind not yelling at my ass, Maxwell?"

Xellos, for the first time, looked amazed- surprised even. "Well, even my first try I got in at least nine."

Wufei squirmed. "Get this poor excuse of a rod out of me!"

The red light on the rod turned to green just as the purple light turned on. Instead of the pink or blue lights lighting, it remained dark. Yume and Xellos looked at one another.

"What does that mean?" Yume asked.

"I think it means unknown." 

"Check him out, Xel." Yume nodded to the front.

"Me? Why me?" Xel complained. "I don't want to. Besides, I'm a guy!"

"Is this really necessary?" asked Ayako. She looked at Damen. "I want to leave."

"So do I." said Zero. "It's bad enough that I have to see Wufei naked, but that rod...we're going home." she hoisted Quatre over her shoulder and began walking towards the front door.

Trowa, Shin, Poa, and Duo remained. Only Poa and Shin were curious.

"Take a little peak." said Yume. "Just once and then we'll quit it for now."

Xel shook his head. "I touche his ass. You look."

"Baby." Yume sucked up all her courage and flipped open the small piece of cloth that covered Wufei's front. "OH, MY GOD! WHAT IS THAT?"

To her, it looked like a pigs butt with a severely twisted tail. Yume gazed at Wufei then back at Xellos then at the other four in the living room. She took one last look and pulled the rod unceremoniously from his ass and began beating him with it. "What kind of monstrosity are you? You talk about how women are demeaning and useless and look at that poor excuse of a dick! It's not a dick at all! It's the epitome of ugly dicks! It's a fucking pig's tail you goddamn pervert! You sick bastard...!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[MUCH LATER...]

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Kirin walked into the kitchen, wanting to get a glass of water. There was a white sheet that covered part of the living room. As she stood by the faucet, drinking, she couldn't help but wonder what was under that sheet. Heero was waiting for her, ready for another round of frantic, hot, sex. She swore Heero was ready to tear her apart. Well, at least everyone was happy. For the time being. Thank god it didn't take a whole day for Heero to decide. She was actually glad that Yume was there to help, though Heero wouldn't talk about it.

Kirin put away the glass and walked over to the white sheet. Was this a gift from Yume? She peered under the sheet and stared. She continued staring even as Heero joined her.

"Kirin?"

Kirin shook head and looked at Heero. "Heero, fuck me. Fuck me now. NOW!" She pulled Heero up by his wrists and dragged him to their bedroom.

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Heero's Mission Statement

==================================================================================================

I don't know what's gotten into Kirin. She was fine a few hours ago and recently she became a little shot. What did she see in the living room? She wouldn't tell me, let alone let me see. If I know Yume, it was probably Wufei and he was playing whipping boy.

Did Kirin see Wufei's operation? I don't think she should worry about it. Sally Po was a good woman, but now she's a better man, it was just the hormones that screwed up her body-his body. If she wanted to see something really scary, she should see Milliardo-oh, I mean Millenia Peacecraft. Relena's long lost older sister...

I really would have hated to see Kirin and Milliardo. Just the thought of Kirin and Milliardo wearing the same clothes worried me. But I'm thankful I have Kirin. Duo's happy and Yume got to name the rod after me. 

Heero's Rod...It would have sounded better if it was Heero's Perfect Rod.

==================================================================================================

END =P


End file.
